The comes a time when even the greatest generals lay down their weapons and accept their day of defeat. Hannibal at Zama, Napoleon at Waterloo, and now Mark at Eastlands.

We can be sure that after a couple of retrospective days, Mark will dust himself down and prepare for the next gameweek. There's nothing more dangerous than a wounded animal and what could be better than a double gameweek.

According to Mark, having got wind of my wildcard, Luka Modric laughed so hard he burst his appendicitis, making that the first time my bandwagon was derailed by an internal organ.

Fabregas signs his own sick note in his mother's handwriting. So he has finally transferred himself into his own fantasy team and we about to see why he's been holding back these last few weeks. Well that's the theory.

Off to the island they travel with Gulliver, their very own coconut picker. Mark's bringing the rum, and with Granville's cheapo cartons of Asda value pineapple juice, they have their very own Pina Colada on tap. If it looks like the heavy cargo is going to sink them, they can always jettison the flotsam, or in order words chuck out Bent.

Up for discussion this episode is the Manchester derby and the perils of Gameweek 28.

ed up and if any offense was taken it was purely intentional.</em>